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The Extraterrestrial Waterhole



This area reserved for future SETI jokes.  Donations, with attributions if possible, would be appreciated.

Stuart Kingsley


P.S. Do not use this "full" email address as we haven't yet been given access to the Galactic Optical Information Superhighway (The Galactic Internet)!

 Subject:  humor for these days...
    Date:  Thu, 8 Aug 1996 09:08:58 +0200
    From:  Maurizio Morabito <morabito@biomag9.zibmt.uni-ulm.de>
Reply-To:  seti@mailbase.ac.uk
      To:  astro@store-forward.mindspring.com
      CC:  seti@mailbase.ac.uk

Date: Thu, 8 Aug 1996 01:20:25 -0400
>From:  Robert Bollig <DEVILFISH@AOL.COM>
Subject: Life Discovered!  <off. to reps of U.S. and other govts.>

  HOUSTON, Aug 6 - A team of U.S. scientists have
discovered evidence of past intelligent life on Capital Hill in
a fissure in the Congressional basement NASA officials said on Tuesday.

          A consortium of space agency and university scientists said
microfossil remains in the crack indicated a primitive form
of intelligent life may have existed on the hill 50 to 70 years ago, NASA
administrator Daniel Goldin said.

          The crack, found during a routine cleaning of the basement in
1984, was formed by the impact of an accidentally dropped copy of the
national budget, the scientists said in an article released to Reuters.

          The researchers discovered preliminary evidence of organic,
carbon-based molecules on the fissure. Looking for signs of organic,
carbon-based molecules -- the building blocks of life on Earth -- the
scientists found polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons inside the tiny fracture.

          ``The significance is that we have no direct evidence right
now other than this possibility that there ever was intelligent life on
Capital Hill'' Reid said.

          Scientists cautioned against the public envisioning
intelligent life still present today on Capitol Hill.  "Anything intelligent
has died off years ago" Goldin said.

          ``I want everybody to know that we are not talking about
creatues that still exist today that can think and reason and balance
a checkbook,''' NASA's Goldin said. ``What still live there are extremely
small minded, vaugly biological structures that somewhat resemble bacteria.
There is no evidence or suggestion that any higher life exists in Congress today'

          ``It makes it very promising there may be life in the
representative governments of other countrys,'' biochemist Stanley Miller at the
University of California at San Diego said of the NASA findings. ``What it
really does show is the formation of life in a government can take
place rather easily, why it never does is still a mystery.''

          The researchers about two years ago discovered that another
fissure in the collection, catalogued as Allan Hills 84001 or
ALH84001, also was from the dropping of texts on national policy.
It was that specimen that yielded the preliminary evidence of primitive
intelligence in the American political system," the scientists said.


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